A Lost Gift Rediscovered

Since I was young, Ive had a prediliction for words. I love the way words come together–particularly their sounds–and as a young teen I started writing poetry and other prose. I collected much of it for years, but in April of 2001, I burned the whole lot and didn’t try any kind of similar writing again until this past August, 2011, while vacationing in the finger lakes region of New York State.

One of the keys to writing is to write, and, in effect, I was always composing in my head. Most were never recorded, and they were usually very short, but I was always composing them. This first poem felt like a struggle to write, compared with what I remember from the past. Words did not flow, sections didn’t fit together, it was just slow, painful, and fruitless. I ended up with bits of stuff strewn all over the place, nothing coming together.

Last night, I decided to try again, committed to putting *something* together, and finally succeeded, sort of. But it was done, and that was the key–the doing.

Just for the record, this is what I got:

Summer fails, and Autumn prevails
Nights grow long and cold winds wail
My heart grows heavy and weary
The sky grows leaden and dreary

Rain drips from leaves flecked
in red, brown and gold
Animals’ thick coats growing
ready for the cold
Dawn breaks to find fields
bathed in foggy gloom
The sun rises ever lower
setting far too soon

I gaze upon them all, weeping, and I whisper:
oh please, no not yet. no not yet.

Youth fails, and Old Age prevails
Wrinkled lines long and grey haired trails
My heart grows heavy and weary
My eyes grow leaden and dreary

I gaze upon it all, weeping, and I whisper:
oh please, no not yet. no not yet.

The product itself isn’t nearly as important as the process. The key was that I had started and pushed through to the end. Sure enough, as if in reward for my efforts, today I found myself mentally composing again. Little things. Insignificant things. But composing nonetheless.

This tweet popped into my head today while turning on my computer–something I try to avoid on weekends:
A weekend tweet is a rare treat. My life will be complete, with a weekend retreat retweet!

Stupid? Absolutely! But that’s not the point.

A television commercial about 4G internet, brought this to mind:

Suckling from the Internet’s breast
You fret the time for the next page to manifest
Your life ever more narcissistic
You beckon to be served with a click

Again, the point isn’t about what comes out, but the fact that my brain has switched into gear, so to speak. Even after 10 years, I can recover something that I had lost. The key is to do. Do you have something like this that you stopped doing? Ask yourself why, and then maybe let yourself do it again.

Of course, there is the matter of practical application. As a manager, communications is a key element of my work. I know from the past that communications is easier for me when I am composing like this. Words come more fluently because I am recalling them a lot more often (I think that’s how it works).

More importantly, I’m happy doing it…What a funny thing this is.

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About jeffmershon

Director of Program Management at SiriusXM.
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